Pastoral Letter of Doctrinal Correction Concerning Unbelieving Husbands

A PASTORAL LETTER OF DOCTRINAL CORRECTION No Man Can Annul the Commandments of YAHWEH To the daughters, wives, mothers, husbands, fathers, and families of First Harvest Ministries International: I know that Voice when I hear it. It is the Voice of the Heavenly Father saying: "You are mistaken. You are wrong. And you must fix it immediately." Late tonight, quite unexpectedly, I heard the whisper of that Voice concerning the wives in our ministry who are married to unbelieving husbands. I was not studying this subject. I was not preparing a sermon about marriage. I was not reconsidering my teaching concerning wives and husbands. I was not even thinking about this matter when THAT VOICE called me into a correcting session with Him. And when YAHWEH corrects the teacher, the teacher has a responsibility to correct what he has taught. But hear me carefully. I do not ask you to receive this correction because of what I heard. I ask you to receive it because of what is written. A voice sent me back to the Torah. The Torah is what convicted me. And the Torah is what I now set before you. WHAT I HAVE TAUGHT For many years I have strongly taught the biblical virtue of a wife submitting to her husband. I continue to believe and teach that principle. Scripture plainly teaches: "Wives, submit yourselves unto your own husbands, as unto the Master." — Ephesians 5:22 Submission, respect, humility, and faithfulness within marriage remain beautiful biblical virtues. However, I have carried that doctrine beyond the authority Scripture actually gives it. Let me be specific about what I taught, so there is no confusion about what I am now correcting. I taught a woman that if her husband forbade the Sabbath, she was free from the Sabbath. I taught her that if her husband forbade her from going to the Feast, she was not obligated to go. I taught her that if her husband forbade the dietary law in his house, she was released from it. I taught her that if her husband forbade the tithe, she was not required to tithe. And so forth. Whatever commandment of YAHWEH her husband forbade, I taught her that his word released her from it — that submission to him covered her before YAHWEH. I now believe that teaching was wrong, and I am correcting it publicly and immediately. When YAHWEH gives greater light, our responsibility is not to defend yesterday's understanding. Our responsibility is to walk in today's light. I would rather stand before this ministry and acknowledge that I was mistaken than knowingly allow one daughter of YAHWEH to continue violating her conscience because of something I taught her. So let us return to the Torah and examine where my reasoning went wrong. What follows is the heart of the matter. But I have also attached to this letter a complete Bible study — The Vow She Made vs. The Commandment He Made — that walks through Numbers 30 verse by verse, with the Hebrew, the context, and the witnesses of Scripture. Read this letter first. Then take the study and prove every word of it for yourself. WHERE MY REASONING WENT WRONG The primary foundation for my former position was Numbers chapter 30. I want you to read the actual passage, because when you see what it says, you will understand why I taught what I taught. Concerning a married woman, Torah says: "And if she had at all an husband, when she vowed, or uttered ought out of her lips, wherewith she bound her soul; And her husband heard it, and held his peace at her in the day that he heard it: then her vows shall stand, and her bonds wherewith she bound her soul shall stand. But if her husband disallowed her on the day that he heard it; then he shall make her vow which she vowed, and that which she uttered with her lips, wherewith she bound her soul, of none effect: and YAHWEH shall forgive her." — Numbers 30:6–8 There it is. I read those words — "her husband disallowed her" and "he shall make her vow... of none effect" — and concluded that Torah gave a husband authority to override his wife's religious obligations toward YAHWEH. If she had made a commitment before YAHWEH and her husband could disallow it, I reasoned that the husband's spiritual authority must extend even into her obligations toward YAHWEH Himself. Therefore, when an unbelieving husband told his believing wife — "You cannot keep the Sabbath." "You cannot attend the Feast." "You will eat what I put on the table." "You cannot pay tithe." — I taught the wife to submit. I told her she was free. My reasoning was straightforward: If Numbers 30 allows the husband to annul something his wife has obligated herself to do before YAHWEH, then surely the wife must submit to her husband even in religious matters. But I now see that I failed to distinguish between two completely different things: A VOW MADE BY THE WOMAN A COMMANDMENT GIVEN BY YAHWEH WHAT DOES THE HUSBAND ACTUALLY ANNUL? Read Numbers 30:6–8 again, slowly. Does Torah say, "He may annul the commandments of YAHWEH"? No. Does Torah say, "He may forbid his wife from obeying Torah"? No. Does Torah say, "Whatever YAHWEH commands her becomes subject to her husband's approval"? No. Instead, the passage identifies — over and over — exactly what is being annulled: "WHEN SHE VOWED..." "HER VOWS..." "HER BONDS..." "HER VOW WHICH SHE VOWED..." "THAT WHICH SHE UTTERED WITH HER LIPS..." Those words matter. THE OBLIGATION ORIGINATED FROM HER MOUTH. She created an additional obligation through her own voluntary vow. YAHWEH did not command that vow. She volunteered it. THE CONTEXT: VOWS, OFFERINGS, AND SELF-DENIAL Now notice something I previously overlooked. The verse immediately preceding the legislation of Numbers 30 says: "Beside your vows, and your freewill offerings, for your burnt offerings, and for your meat offerings, and for your drink offerings, and for your peace offerings." — Numbers 29:39 Look at the context: VOWS. FREEWILL OFFERINGS. BURNT OFFERINGS. MEAT OFFERINGS. DRINK OFFERINGS. PEACE OFFERINGS. Every one of these is voluntary. And every one of them could carry real consequences for a household. Leviticus 27 shows that vowed things could involve animals, houses, fields, valuations, and monetary redemption. And Numbers 30 itself tells us the other kind of vow it has in mind: "Every vow, and every binding oath to afflict the soul, her husband may establish it, or her husband may make it void." — Numbers 30:13 An oath to afflict the soul — a vow of fasting, of abstinence, of self-denial. So the husband's authority in Numbers 30 reaches two kinds of voluntary obligation: ●a vow that would give away something the household depends on, and ●a vow that would withhold something from the household — the wife's own strength, presence, or body — through self-affliction. In both cases the pattern is identical: She created it. YAHWEH did not command it. And it touches a household that is not hers alone. SHE COULD NOT VOLUNTARILY OBLIGATE ANOTHER PERSON'S HOUSEHOLD In the ancient household, a daughter living under her father's provision, or a wife living within her husband's household, could make a religious vow whose fulfillment required an animal, property, money, or some other resource for which the household was responsible. Imagine a wife saying: "YAHWEH, I vow one of our cattle unto You." She has made a religious promise. But there is an obvious question: WHOSE COW DID SHE JUST GIVE AWAY? If that animal belonged to the household, her vow had created an obligation affecting someone besides herself. The father or husband was therefore not being given authority to cancel YAHWEH's commandments. He was being given authority to prevent someone within his household from voluntarily creating an obligation that would bind the resources of that household. AND THEN TORAH GIVES US THE WIDOW The very same chapter gives a remarkable contrast: "But every vow of a widow, and of her that is divorced, wherewith they have bound their souls, shall stand against her." — Numbers 30:9 Think carefully about that. THE WIDOW IS STILL A WOMAN. Yet Torah says: HER VOW SHALL STAND. If Numbers 30 were teaching that a woman has no independent accountability before YAHWEH — that every religious decision requires male approval — then becoming a widow would change nothing. She is still a woman. But something has changed. Her household status has changed. The daughter was within her father's household. The wife was within the marital household. But of the widow and the divorced woman, Torah says: HER VOW SHALL STAND AGAINST HER. She made the vow. She bears responsibility for it. She must fulfill what she voluntarily promised. This demonstrates that Numbers 30 was never granting men a universal authority over a woman's conscience before YAHWEH. It concerned voluntary obligations undertaken within particular household relationships. A MODERN EXAMPLE Let me make this extremely practical for our congregation. Suppose a married woman becomes deeply moved during one of our services and declares: "I am donating our family automobile to First Harvest Ministries International." Her sincerity does not give her authority to dispose of property that belongs to her husband or jointly to the household. Her husband has every legitimate right to say: "No. You cannot give our family automobile away." And FHMI should not accept that automobile over his objection. Why? Because YAHWEH never commanded that woman to give FHMI her automobile. She made a voluntary offering. Her husband is not preventing her from obeying YAHWEH. He is refusing to allow a voluntary religious commitment to dispose of household property over which she does not hold exclusive authority. Now consider something completely different. Suppose that woman works. She receives wages. From funds lawfully under her control, she determines to obey YAHWEH's commandment concerning the tithe. Her husband may disagree with tithing. He may say: "I don't believe in tithing." But his disagreement cannot transform a commandment of YAHWEH into his wife's voluntary vow. She did not create the obligation. YAHWEH did. Likewise: She did not invent the Sabbath. YAHWEH commanded it. She did not invent the appointed Feasts. YAHWEH appointed them. Therefore there is no vow for her husband to annul. THE QUESTION IS: WHO CREATED THE OBLIGATION? If the woman voluntarily creates the obligation, Numbers 30 may apply. If fulfilling it would dispose of household resources that are not hers alone to give, legitimate household authority matters. But when YAHWEH creates the obligation through His commandment, no husband, father, pastor, elder, or other human authority possesses the power to annul it. Let me state this as clearly as I know how: A HUSBAND MAY ANNUL HER VOW. HE CANNOT ANNUL YAHWEH'S COMMANDMENT. Those are two entirely different things. "BUT IT SAYS YAHWEH SHALL FORGIVE HER" Someone will read Numbers 30:8 — "and YAHWEH shall forgive her" — and say: "There it is. If my husband forbids me, YAHWEH forgives me." And someone else will read a few verses further: "But if he shall any ways make them void after that he hath heard them; then he shall bear her iniquity." — Numbers 30:15 — and say, "See? If he stops me, he bears it, not me." Read again what she is forgiven for. She is forgiven for the vow she did not fulfill. She promised something to YAHWEH with her own lips; her husband disallowed it; and YAHWEH releases her from the promise she made. There is no verse — not one — anywhere in Torah that says: "If her husband forbids the Sabbath, YAHWEH shall forgive her." "If her husband forbids the Feast, he shall bear her iniquity." The forgiveness of Numbers 30 covers an unkept vow. It has never covered a broken commandment. And if you are tempted to lean on "he shall bear her iniquity" — ask yourself whether you truly want your unbelieving husband to stand before YAHWEH carrying your Sabbath. That verse is not a loophole for the wife. It is a warning to the man. "BUT IT SAYS IN EVERY THING" Others will go to Ephesians: "Therefore as the assembly is subject unto Messiah, so let the wives be to their own husbands in every thing." — Ephesians 5:24 In every thing. But look at the pattern Paul gives. The wife's submission is patterned after the assembly's submission to Messiah. Why can the assembly submit to Messiah "in every thing"? Because Messiah never commands the assembly to sin. The husband's headship is modeled on a Head who never once told His Bride to break the Sabbath, skip the Feast, or rob YAHWEH. The moment a husband commands what Messiah would never command, he has stepped outside the pattern — and the pattern is the boundary of the "every thing." THE SABBATH WAS COMMANDED TO HER Here is what finally settled it for me. When YAHWEH gave the Sabbath, He did not give it to the husband to distribute at his discretion. Listen to whom it is addressed: "But the seventh day is the sabbath of YAHWEH thy Elohim: in it thou shalt not do any work, thou, nor thy son, nor thy daughter, thy manservant, nor thy maidservant, nor thy cattle, nor thy stranger that is within thy gates." — Exodus 20:10 And of the Feasts: "And thou shalt rejoice in thy feast, thou, and thy son, and thy daughter, and thy manservant, and thy maidservant..." — Deuteronomy 16:14 The head of the household is named first — not as the one who may withhold the Sabbath from his household, but as the one responsible to see that everyone in it keeps it. The daughter is commanded. The maidservant is commanded. Even the ox is covered. YAHWEH did not leave the Sabbath of the women in Israel to the discretion of the men in Israel. He commanded it to them directly. WOMEN WHO OBEYED YAHWEH RATHER THAN MEN Do not think this principle is new, or that it is a modern loosening of Torah. It is older than Sinai. Shiphrah and Puah. The king of Egypt — the highest male authority in their world — commanded the Hebrew midwives to kill the sons of Israel. "But the midwives feared Elohim, and did not as the king of Egypt commanded them..." — Exodus 1:17 And what did YAHWEH do? "Therefore Elohim dealt well with the midwives... he made them houses." — Exodus 1:20–21 He did not rebuke them for insubordination. He built them houses. Abigail. Her husband Nabal made a decision that would have destroyed his entire household. Without his knowledge, and against his stated will, she went and did what was right before YAHWEH — and David said to her: "Blessed be YAHWEH Elohim of Israel, which sent thee this day to meet me: and blessed be thy advice..." — 1 Samuel 25:32–33 Scripture never once calls Abigail a rebellious wife. It calls her a woman of good understanding. When a woman fears YAHWEH more than she fears a man, Scripture does not record it as rebellion. It records it as faith. DELEGATED AUTHORITY CAN NEVER EXCEED THE AUTHORITY THAT DELEGATED IT Marriage did not originate with man. YAHWEH established it. Therefore the authority of a husband exists under the authority of YAHWEH. A husband cannot take authority YAHWEH gave him and use it to command rebellion against the very YAHWEH who gave it. Scripture establishes the governing principle: "We ought to obey Elohim rather than men." — Acts 5:29 For years I understood that principle when dealing with governments, religious authorities, pastors, employers, and every other human authority. But I failed to apply it consistently to believing women. There cannot be one conscience before YAHWEH for a man and another conscience before YAHWEH for a woman. Every believer ultimately answers to YAHWEH. WHAT THE APOSTLE PETER TOLD THIS EXACT WOMAN There is one passage in all of Scripture addressed specifically to the believing wife of an unbelieving husband. Peter wrote it: "Likewise, ye wives, be in subjection to your own husbands; that, if any obey not the word, they also may without the word be won by the conversation of the wives; while they behold your chaste conversation coupled with fear." — 1 Peter 3:1–2 Read what Peter assumes. He assumes the husband does not obey the Word. He assumes the wife does. He tells her to remain in subjection — and he tells her why: so that her husband may be won by her conduct. Won to what? To the Word she is keeping. Peter's entire instruction collapses if the wife stops keeping the Word the moment her husband objects. There would be nothing left to win him to. Her submission and her obedience are not in competition. Her quiet, faithful, unshaken obedience to YAHWEH is the witness that wins him. Paul says the same: "And the woman which hath an husband that believeth not, and if he be pleased to dwell with her, let her not leave him... For what knowest thou, O wife, whether thou shalt save thy husband?" — 1 Corinthians 7:13, 16 Stay. Submit. Honor him. And keep the commandments of YAHWEH in front of him every single week until he sees the light in you. THEREFORE I AM CORRECTING MY PREVIOUS TEACHING I want there to be absolutely no confusion among the women under my pastoral care. NO HUSBAND, FATHER, PASTOR, ELDER, OR ANY OTHER MAN HAS LEGITIMATE AUTHORITY TO COMMAND A WOMAN TO DISOBEY YAHWEH. A father cannot annul YAHWEH's Sabbath. A husband cannot annul YAHWEH's commandments. A pastor cannot annul YAHWEH's commandments. An elder cannot annul YAHWEH's commandments. NO MAN CAN ANNUL WHAT YAHWEH HAS COMMANDED. This does not destroy biblical submission. It defines its boundary. A believing wife should honor her husband. She should respect him. She should seek peace within her home. She should never use religion as an excuse for rebellion, disrespect, hostility, manipulation, or the neglect of her household. HOW TO WALK THIS OUT Sisters, do not take this letter home as a sword. The correction I have made is about whom you obey, not about how you treat your husband. Here is how I counsel you to walk it: FIRST: ASK YOUR HUSBAND FOR A CONVERSATION Do not let him learn of this from a changed schedule or a closed kitchen on Friday evening. Go to him. Ask him for a conversation — not an argument, not an announcement, a conversation. And in that conversation, do these things: Recommit to his headship. Tell him plainly that you chose him. Tell him you honor him as the head of your home and that nothing in this letter changes that. Let him hear it from your mouth before he hears anything else. Make it abundantly clear that you chose him as a husband — not as your Creator. He is your covering. He is not your conscience. There is a place in you that belongs to YAHWEH alone, and it belonged to YAHWEH before it ever belonged to him. Make one request of him. Ask that your conscience concerning your walk with your Creator never be violated, and that he never place you in a position where you must choose between him and your conscience. Say it as a request, not a demand. A man who is asked can grant. A man who is told will resist. Tell him exactly what you observe. No vagueness. No surprises later. Set it before him: ●The weekly Sabbath ●The annual Feasts of YAHWEH ●The dietary law ●Faithful tithing — of YOUR income only Let him see the whole list at once, so he is never blindsided by a commandment he did not know was coming. Then give him the same freedom you are asking for. Tell him you would never commit him to your conscience. You will not force the Sabbath on him. You will not shame him at the table. You will not tithe his wages. And in return, he should never try to convince you away from yours. Two consciences under one roof, each honored — that is the request. If you do this with humility, most husbands will hear it. Some will not. Either way, you have done what is right, and what follows is between him and YAHWEH. THEN: WALK IT OUT DAILY Obey quietly. Keep the Sabbath. Attend the Feast. Tithe from what is yours. But do it without announcement, without a speech, and without a victory lap. Peter's word was "without the word." Let your obedience be seen, not heard. Never with contempt. The moment your obedience to YAHWEH becomes a weapon against your husband, you have turned a commandment into a vow of your own — a vow to win an argument. That, he may rightly resist. Do not obligate his resources. Numbers 30 still stands. Do not give away what is his. Do not sign the household up for what it cannot bear. Obey with what is lawfully yours. Do not neglect your home to obey. The Sabbath does not excuse a cold house on Friday. Prepare on the sixth day so the seventh is a blessing to everyone under your roof — including the man who does not yet keep it. Come to us. If keeping a commandment creates real conflict in your marriage, do not carry it alone and do not fight it alone. Bring it to the elders. We will counsel you. We will pray with you. And where it is welcome, we will speak to your husband ourselves. A WORD TO THE HUSBANDS OF THIS MINISTRY Brothers, do not read this letter as though it were written only to the women. If you are a believing husband and you have ever used "submit" to end a conversation that Scripture would not have ended that way — hear this. Your headship is patterned after Messiah. He washed feet. He laid down His life. He never once commanded His Bride to break a commandment of His Father. You may lead your wife. You may disallow her vows. You may govern the resources of your house. You may not stand between her and YAHWEH. And if you are an unbelieving husband who has somehow received this letter: your wife will honor you. She will respect you. She will keep your house. She will not preach at you. And she will keep the Sabbath of YAHWEH whether you keep it or not — not to defy you, but because she fears the One who commanded it. If you have any wisdom in you, you will look at that woman and ask yourself why. TO ANY WOMAN I HAVE WOUNDED If you sat under my teaching and gave up a Sabbath, missed a Feast, or withheld a tithe because I told you your husband had the right to require it — I was wrong. You were not. You were trying to obey your pastor, and your pastor was mistaken. YAHWEH knows your heart, and He knows mine. I ask your forgiveness. And I ask you to come to me, or to my wife, so that we can pray with you and set your feet back on the path. I will not hide behind my years in ministry or the number of books I have written. A teacher who will not correct himself has stopped being a teacher. When the Voice says "fix it," we fix it. STUDY THIS FOR YOURSELF I am attaching to this letter a complete Bible study: THE VOW SHE MADE vs. THE COMMANDMENT HE MADE Understanding Numbers 30, Biblical Vows, Household Authority, and the Woman's Obligation to Obey YAHWEH It takes you through Numbers 30 verse by verse. It opens the Hebrew word for "vow." It shows the connection to Numbers 29:39 and Leviticus 27. It sets the daughter, the wife, and the widow side by side. It brings in Hannah, the automobile test, the tithe question, and the New Testament passages on the believing wife and the unbelieving husband. Sit down with it. Open your Bible beside it. Check every reference. Wives — read it so that your obedience rests on the Word and not on your pastor. Husbands — read it so that you understand what Torah actually gave you authority over, and what it did not. And if you find something in it that does not stand up to Scripture, bring it to me. I would rather be corrected twice than leave one of you in error. NO MAN CAN ANNUL THE COMMANDMENTS OF YAHWEH. Not a husband. Not a father. Not an elder. And not this pastor. Rev. John Shane Vaughn Founding Apostolic Overseer First Harvest Ministries International P.O. Box 2757, Bay St. Louis, MS 39521